


What I Did To Make It Back

by SterekandMcDannoShipr



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 20:26:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7588828
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SterekandMcDannoShipr/pseuds/SterekandMcDannoShipr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>McSwarek reunion when Andy returns from Dakota</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Andy**

It's been 3 months since I've seen him, any of them. I had to stop thinking about my old life because a few weeks in I slipped, lost focus, and now I'll forever have a scar on my chin. These guys are the worst, they deal in everything; drugs, weapons, human trafficking. Nick, he's doing better than I am. I guess the 3 years at war helped with that. You just have to put it all aside and do what it takes to get back home.

They were lying in the bed talking the night she got hurt. "How do you do it?"

Nick shifted. "Do what?"

Andy looked over to him. "How do you forget?"

He sighed. "I don't. I give myself one hour at the end of the day. I think about her and then I move on."

She was still watching him. "And it works?"

He chuckled. "It got me through three years in Afghanistan."

She rolled over to her side of the bed and curled up. They had decided on their first night that they would share it, after all they were supposed to be a couple. _One hour a night._ She thought to herself. _I can do this because it will keep me alive. It will get me back to him._

Nick's advice and her scar led her to this night. She's been thinking about him more than she should. A lone tear rolled down her cheek. What she wouldn't give to see him right now, to feel his arms around her, to hear his voice just one time. Their work had gotten worse over the last few weeks. Andy had seen some bad things in her 3 years on the job but seeing the beaten and raped women waiting to be sold, it was just too much. She couldn't close her eyes because of the images.

Nick could tell she was having trouble sleeping. They had already become good friends before the job; partners, break-up buddies. He knew how hard this was for her because he was having his own trouble. He missed Gail, he hated that he left without really saying goodbye. The job would be over soon and he would make it up to her if she wasn't too mad.

He rolled over and put his arm around Andy. She seemed to relax a little. They'd learned they had to do whatever it took to make it through the nights and soon they both fell asleep. Tomorrow they would meet with their handler to pass their newest information on and to set up their departure. In two very long weeks they would be swept up in a raid by 15 Division.

**Sam**

He sits alone in his apartment as he has for the last 5 months, thinking about her. He stood in the hallway at the station and promised to prove to her that he loved her and that he was sorry. _Let's just start with a drink._ She didn't give a response either way but the shrug made him feel hopeful. He sat with Gail until the Penny closed. Apparently Collins had stood her up. He knew it was a long shot but he had hoped. He sat waiting for her in parade the next morning but she didn't show. The strangest part was Nash was there and he knew she had been picked for Callaghan's task force. He shouldn't have been surprised to see her because she would've had to leave without telling Leo goodbye. After everything he'd been through she wouldn't do that to him. He also noticed Collins was missing and now he realized Andy had taken Traci's spot.

He was upset because she didn't call him but knew from experience that it wasn't allowed. He felt so many emotions at the realization; mostly he was proud of her and worried about her. He knew Nick would look after her and that gave him a small amount of comfort. He also wondered what would happen with them when she came back. He hoped the time away would clear her head and she would give him a chance again. The time had been good for him in some ways. He was able to deal with losing Jerry, his head was back in work, and he wasn't angry all the time.

Andy and Nick were in position for extraction. The raid on the warehouse would happen in one hour. She had to keep it together until then. The bust went down and everyone was arrested. She was surprised that their friends weren't there but later realized it was for their safety so no one would blow their cover. Callaghan and Cox took them into custody. As they drove in Andy quickly scanned the parking lot, Sam's truck wasn't there. When they got inside they were taken in separately from the others and put in interview rooms.

Oliver knew she was in the building but hadn't seen her yet. He hit speed dial 5 and said, "She's here."

Sam let out a sigh of relief. "How does she look?"

Ollie leaned back in his chair. "I don't know brother. No one has seen them yet. They've been locked up in interview rooms doing their debriefings. As soon as I put my eyes on her you'll be the first to know."

Sam hung his head, "Thanks brother." He was sitting at his favorite spot at the Penny. He laid his phone down and waited for the next call.

Oliver sat at the front desk waiting for her to appear. Three hours later they came walking out, their friends eagerly waiting their turn to see them, to welcome them back. Andy hugged everyone. Traci asked about something on her face but she just brushed it off. Oliver made his way over to the crowd.

He smiled at Andy. "Any hugs left for your former T.O.?"

Andy smiled and nodded. "Good to see you sir." They hugged and Oliver could see the scar on her chin. She turned to the others. "I'll see you guys at the Penny. I want to talk to Oliver for a few minutes."

Her friends nodded and left. Oliver led her to an empty office. "Are you ok?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I made it."

Ollie nodded. "A little worse for wear but you did." He knew what she wanted to ask. "He's ok and waiting to see you whenever you're ready."

She took a deep breath. "Is he mad?"

He shook his head. "He was never mad, not at you anyway. He thought you didn't show that night because you hated him. When he realized where you were he was proud of you, happy for you. He's doing great Andy. How are you really doing?"

She let out a heavy sigh. "Better. I had to…It was an experience I'll never forget." Running her finger across her chin. "I'll have a constant reminder. I don't know what to say. I'm not mad or hurt anymore. I thought about that day, the things he said. I love him but I need to know he's not going to run when things get tough again. I missed him so much; knowing he was here is what got me through it." Looking down at her hands. "Is he seeing anyone?"

Oliver chuckled a little and shook his head. "No. He's been waiting on you. Andy, I know you guys went through a lot in a short time and there's no excuse for what he did, but he's serious, about it all. I've known him for a very long time and I've never seen him like this. We talked a lot while you were gone and he's changed."

She shrugged. "What do I do?"

He smiled and patted her arm. "Let me give you a ride to the Penny. Have a few drinks with your friends and he'll be there when you're ready." She was nervous on the ride over.

She hugged Oliver. "Thanks Ollie. You're a great friend."

He was a little surprised by the hug because Andy didn't usually do hugs. He patted her on the back. "Come on McNally, you have a lot of drinking to make up for." They walked inside.

Sam saw Oliver come in. He knew she was with him but couldn't bring himself to look up. He saw Oliver sit down next to him. "She looks good doesn't she?"

Sam was still looking down at the bar. "I don't know."

Oliver just noticed Sam's posture. "Man, you didn't even look at her?" Sam shook his head. "Why the hell not?" Sam shrugged. Oliver sighed. "Sammy, she wants to talk. Just give her some time with her friends. And for god's sake, don't screw it up!"

Sam chuckled. "Not this time brother. I know what I have to lose and if I get the chance to show her, I'll never let her go again."

Andy sat with her friends enjoying a few drinks and catching up. She caught a glimpse of him sitting at the bar with Oliver. Her heart skipped a few times. Traci followed her line of sight. "It's time Andy. Go talk to him."

She looked at Traci. "I don't know if I'm ready for this yet."

Traci smiled. "Andy, you're ready." She walked over to the bar and stood beside him.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam smelled her as soon as she walked up. He could find her in a crowded room blindfolded. He sat up straight and took a deep breath.

Andy took a deep breath of her own and said. "Is this seat taken?"

It took Sam a second. He'd been dying to hear that voice for six months now. He could barely get it out. "No."

Andy pulled out the stool and sat down. She ordered them both drinks and stuck out her hand. "Andy McNally, Special Ops Task Force."

He looked at her hand then up into those gorgeous chocolate eyes he's been dying to see. His heart sputtered and he took her hand, their skin touching sent shockwaves through both of them. "Sam Swarek, idiot and Training Officer 15 Division."

Andy had to smile a little at the idiot comment. "Have a drink with me?"

Sam nodded. "I would like that." He finally looked at her, taking in all of her. He sees the scar and sucks in a deep breath.

She knew he would be upset. "It's fine. I'm ok."

He said quietly. "What happened?"

She shook her head. "Not tonight Sam. Ok?" He nodded and looked back down at this drink. "How are you?"

He half smiled. "I'm ok. Doing much better." He looks at her and his eyes are filled with sadness, regret, and love. "Andy…"

She put her hand on his arm. "Not tonight Sam. We have plenty of time to talk about everything. I just want to sit here with you for a little while and talk. Ok?"

He couldn't argue. This was way more than he deserved. "I got a dog."

Andy giggled. "Please tell me you didn't name it Boo."

Sam chuckled. He gave her the smile she'd been missing all those months. "No. I didn't name him Boo. His name is Jake. He can't wait to meet you."

She looked at him slightly amused. "Meet me?" He nodded. "How could he possibly want to meet me? He doesn't even know me."

Sam smiled a little. "He knows you. I talk about you all the time." She laughed. He's missed those laughs, that smile, the way it reaches all the way to her eyes. "You'll see." They talked until the place closed down. Sam did most of the talking, catching Andy up on things. They were the very last ones to leave. Andy walked out to Sam's truck. "Do you need a ride home?"

She lived pretty close but didn't want to walk home. "That would be nice thank you." He opened the door and helped her in. The drive was pretty quiet. They pulled up to her apartment 10 minutes later. "Do you have to work tomorrow?"

He shook his head. "I'm off."

They were standing on the front steps. "Sam, we have a lot to talk about but right now, I'd really like it if you just came upstairs and held me while I sleep." He never expected this request. His heart skipped, maybe even stopped. He could only nod. She took him by the hand and led him up to her place. Letting them in to her apartment she said. "I'm going to take a hot shower. Make yourself comfortable."

He nodded. "Ok." He went to the fridge and got a beer while she went to shower. Thirty minutes later she emerged from her room in a t-shirt and boxers. He loved the smell of her fresh out of the shower. He closed his eyes and took it in. She walked over to the sofa where he was sitting and held out her hand. He took it and she pulled him up from the sofa.

Sam knew that things were far from ok with them but he was glad that she asked him to stay. She curled up next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He held her tighter that night than he ever had. And it was the best night's sleep he'd had in almost 8 months. He felt someone stir, forgetting it was Andy he thought _Oh! God! What did I do last night?_ Then he smelt her pear shampoo and lavender laundry detergent.

Andy could feel Sam's breathing change, almost panicky. "Sam, Are you ok?" He still had his eyes closed. She shook him. "Sam?"

A small smile crossed his lips. "I'm not dreaming?" She pinched him. "Oww! What was that for?"

She giggled a little. "To prove you weren't dreaming." Sighing. "You had me a little worried there."

He opened his eyes to see her looking up at him. "Sorry. I just…"

She shook her head. "It's ok. I understand more than you know." Quietly she said. "Some mornings I would wake up next to Nick and for 5 seconds I thought it was you."

He shifted and looked at her. "You slept with Nick?" He didn't know if he could bare a _yes._

She sat up and turned towards him. "I had to do a lot of things Sam and one of them was share a bed with him."

Sam stood up and paced, rubbing his hands over his face. Andy could see a tear rolling down his cheek.

She was so saddened by the way he looked. "Sam, I didn't have sex with him. We posed as a couple and there was only one bed in the apartment. We slept, that's all. I wouldn't do that to you know matter how angry or hurt I was. Ok?"

He stopped pacing with his back to her. "Andy, I wouldn't blame you after what I did." He hung his head. "I… I was an idiot."

She climbed out of bed and went to him. "Let's go to the kitchen, make some coffee and do some of that talking." She took him by the hand and led him out.

He couldn't take the subtle touches anymore. He pulled her to him and held her so tight. She melted into him and his head spun. They stood that way for a while until Sam pulled away, quietly saying. "When was the last time you had pancakes?"

A huge smile crossed Andy's face. "I think it's been too long. Know anyone that can cook them?"

He caressed her cheek. "Maybe."

She went to work on the coffee and Sam on the pancakes.


	3. Chapter 3

They sat at her table eating and carrying on light conversation. Sam couldn't take it anymore. "How'd you get the scar?" She shifted a little. "Andy, I know you can't tell me about the case but…"

She looked down at her food. "Angry pimp." She could see his hands clinch. "It's fine Sam. I did what I had to do to get back to my life. You know how that is. I got this..." Pointing to her scar. "saving a woman's life and I would do it again. You don't know the things I had to watch, to turn an eye to." Sam nodded; he could only imagine how hard it was for her. He once told her she had "big people loving stones" and he knew what a UC job could do to a person. She pushed her plate away and sighed. "If I had gone in alone I wouldn't have come out the same person, if at all." Sam pushed his away too, feeling sick and propped his elbows on the table. "Thank you. Breakfast was really good. I don't think I've had food that good since I left."

Sam smiled a little. "Collins not a pancake guy?"

Andy shook her head. "You can be a real ass sometimes."

Sam held up his hands. "I'm sorry. That wasn't… Andy I don't know what to do here. I'm not good at this stuff."

Andy had her arms crossed now. "That's pretty obvious. Sam, I did what I had to do to get back alive, to my job, my friends, and my family. Even to you, although you hurt me Sam, worse than..." He opened his mouth and she held up her hand. "Let me finish. I know you were going through a rough time. We all were. Do you know why I took the UC job?"

He really didn't know what to say and he didn't want to make her mad. "Because it was a great career opportunity for you."

Andy had her arms crossed, leaning back in her chair. Sam could tell she was getting irritated and he felt like he was well on his way to screwing this up AGAIN. "I took it because I didn't want to be 'that girl'." Sam looked a little confused. "The girl that gave up everything she loves for a guy." Sam was shocked by this. He would never ask Andy to give up _anything_ for him. "Sam, there's no doubt I love you." His heart fluttered but he knew there was more. "But love isn't enough. Not with you. I left because I didn't want to end up hating and resenting you or myself." Sam could barely breathe. He felt like his chest was in a vice grip. "If we do this again Sam I need more form you."

He sat up straight. His voice almost cracked. "Anything Andy, I'll do anything you want."

She wanted to believe him. "Talk. You're going to have to talk to me and tell me _why_ , why you left me when you promised you wouldn't."

He took a deep breath. "I will _never_ be able to tell you how sorry I am for all of that Andy. I'm sorry for everything I said and _didn't_ say when I should have. I was scared of what was happening with us and then I sat there with my best friend dying in my arms and there was _nothing_ I could do." He had tears rolling down his cheeks now. "I…I was scared that it would happen to us. That I would lose you and go through the hell that Traci was going through and I knew I wasn't… I'm _not_ strong enough to make it if I lost you like that. I couldn't take the thought of _you_ having to go through that either."

Andy was crying now too. "So you decided to leave me?"

Sam rubbed his hands across his face. "I was stupid. I thought I was doing what was best for you. I didn't know how to deal with losing Jerry so I lashed out at you. I hurt you and I'll _never_ forgive myself for it, _all of it_. I don't blame you if you never forgive me. But I _need_ you to know, to understand that I do love you. I love you so much that it hurts to breathe." He put his hand on his chest. "I meant what I said. I'll do anything to prove to you I love you, _anything._ I just want another chance."

Andy wiped the tears away. "I want to trust you again Sam, to believe you. I honestly don't know where we go from here." Sam didn't like the way this was going. He was scared she was going to say no. "If we do this again, it's got to be different."

Sam swallowed around the knot in his throat. "I promise…"

She shook her head. "No. No more promises Sam." He almost lost it. "Show me. You're going to have to show me. It's not going to change over-night for either of us."

He put his hands out to her. "You're right. I wouldn't expect this to be fixed over-night. Hell! I didn't even expect you to talk to me when you came back."

She shook her head again. "I didn't hate you Sam. I was just hurt and I knew I couldn't stay. We both needed the time."

Sam propped his elbows on the table again. "Where do we start?"

A small smile twitched at the corners of her lips. "Jake."

Sam smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Ok. When do you want to meet him?"

She shrugged. "How about now? I can get a quick shower and we could take him for a walk."

Sam nodded. His heart was about to burst. "Ok. He loves the park or the beach."

She stood up and picked up her plate. "The beach sounds good."

He stood and took her plate. "I'll clean up. You go ahead and take your shower."

Andy touched his arm. "Maybe we can have lunch later too." He nodded and she kissed his cheek.

His cheek was on fire from her touch. He watched her walk away. He's missed her so much; everything about her. He cleaned up the kitchen while she showered. When she came back they went to his place. He was glad that Oliver had talked him into cleaning up. It had been a disaster after the break up.

Jake, a 3 moth old black Lab, was lying in his bed when they walked in. A huge smile spread across Andy's face. "Sam! He's so cute!"

Sam knelt and called Jake over. "Come here buddy." And patted his leg. The puppy jumped up and trotted over, tail wagging. Andy knelt beside him and held out her hand. Jake sniffed and then practically jumped on her. Sam loved seeing the smile on her face.

Andy scratched the pup's ears and spoke sweetly to him. "Hey buddy! You're pretty adorable."

Sam watched her for several minutes before saying. "I'm going to run up and take a quick shower."

Andy realized she hadn't offered Sam the use of hers. "Oh! Sam! I'm sorry. You could've taken one at my place."

He shook his head. "It's ok. I didn't… It's ok." He half smiled and nodded. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

She had fun playing with Jake while he was gone. She could tell when he was in the shower; the familiar smell of his soap invaded her senses. _God! I've missed that smell!_ Fifteen minutes later Sam emerged. He grabbed Jake's leash and the puppy went crazy. He jumped up on Sam. "That's right bubby. It's time for a walk."

Andy giggled at the pup's excitement. "You picked a good one Sam."

He smiled as he played with Jake. "He actually picked me. The family had four of them and he immediately ran to me. So he came home with me."

She was really looking at Sam for the first time. He seemed happier than he has in a while, still a bit of sadness around the eyes but his smile was genuine. "Why don't we get this cute fellow to the beach?"

They loaded Jake in Sam's truck and drove the 20 minutes to Cherry Beach. Andy notices a few times that Sam reached out for her hand but pulled back. She missed him; his touch, his voice, his love. Even though it would take time for her to trust him again she longed for him. It was nice to know he felt the same way.

The beach trip was fun. They spent several hours playing with him and watching him run around. Andy's stomach rumbled. "How about that lunch date?"

Sam smiled and nodded. "Sounds good." As they were walking back to the truck Andy took Sam's hand in hers. She felt him jerk a little and started to pull away. He tightened the grip and twined his fingers in hers. They grabbed lunch at a café with a patio so Jake didn't have to sit in the truck. Sam felt himself getting hopeful about the contact. He had missed her so much, almost 9 months without so much as holding hands much less everything else. He longed to kiss her beautiful pouty lips.

Andy was watching Sam out of the corner of her eye. _He's staring at me. He used to do that all the time but now it's different. The look is different._ This made her smile.

Sam couldn't help it. When she lit up it made him smile. She breathed life into him. He wanted her so much. He _could not_ screw this up again. "Andy, I need to tell you something."

She froze with her sandwich halfway to her mouth. "Ok."

He wiped his hands on his napkin and sat back in his chair before taking a deep breath. This unnerved Andy so she put her sandwich down. He didn't even know how to begin, clearing his throat he said. "After you left…I...I started seeing someone." Seeing the stricken look on her face he realized he hadn't said it right, holding up his hands. "No. No. Not like that. I mean…I've been seeing a therapist."

He couldn't have shocked her more if he had gotten up and slapped her. "What?"

He sighed deeply and ran his hands across his face. "Yeah. I know. Let's face it, it needed to happen. We both know that." She couldn't respond or argue. "Oliver and I talked a lot. I think it helped both of us deal with losing Jerry. But I realized I needed someone outside of my life to talk to." He held up his hands almost pleadingly. "Andy, I'm sorry, so sorry for everything. I want to you to know that I am serious about us. I'll do anything."

She was still utterly shocked at his confession. "Wow. Sam. That's…I mean... Wow."

He chuckled. "Yeah. I know, Sam Swarek in therapy. Who would've thought?"

She shook her head. "Sam, I think it's great if it helps."

He nodded. "It did. It is helping."

She smile. "Good." _He's still going. He's serious about this._

Sam smiled. "Also, my sister and her family are coming in two weeks and if you're available, I would really like it if you had dinner with us." Something in her heart exploded. This was huge for Sam. She'd known him 3 years and he'd never even brought this up. He misunderstood her silence. "Umm. Unless that's too much too soon. Then…"

She shook her head. "It's great. I would love to meet them."

He let out a shaky breath. "Great. That's great."

She sat in silence for a while and watched him play with Jake while she processed everything. He's seriously trying.

He broke the silence. "I'm sure you have things to do today. I don't want to keep you."

Andy nodded. "I do. I want to go see my dad and I need to go to the grocery store."

Sam shrugged. "You can use my truck if you want or I can drive you."

She felt bad at the awkwardness between them. He wanted to spend as much time with her as she wanted with him but she could tell he was nervous about pushing it. "If you don't mind taking me, I would like that."

He smiled. "I don't mind at all." He paid their bill and they left. They went to see her dad first. He didn't seem too pleased to see Sam and he really couldn't blame him. Their next stop was the grocery store.

She wanted to fix this awkwardness. "Sammy?"

He was caught off guard by her. He always hated being called that but she made it sound different. "Yeah?"

Looking around at the produce. "What are you and Jake doing tonight?"

Heart thudding he said. "We were just going to catch a game."

A basketball game would be perfect. "Well I was thinking maybe you guys could come watch it with me. Maybe have dinner too? Unless you're getting tired of me."

He chuckled. "I think we could manage that." They finished shopping. They even picked out a bed for Jake to keep at Andy's place. Sam was feeling a little lighter as they drove back to her house. He wanted to kiss her so badly. She had allowed him to hold her but his hunger for more was driving him insane. They started dinner when they got back to her place. He caught himself several times reaching for her.

Andy could feel every move Sam made. He had held her last night at her request. She could feel that he'd been holding back all day. He was behind her now, washing spinach for their salad. She turned around to say something and ran right into him. He had turned around at the same time. He was so she could feel his heartbeat. She looked up into his eyes as he said. "Sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't…"

She covered his lips with hers and snaked her arms around his neck. He staggered slightly and then wrapped his arms around her. Eight long months without her amazing lips on his, without holding her and feeling her melt into him. He didn't want to let go of her but he didn't know if he could take it much longer. He released her slightly but she tightened her grip. "No Sam!" She whispered against his lips.

His hunger for her was worse now. He pinned her against the counter as he kissed her passionately. Not having her for 8 months had to be like someone going without water or food for days. A drug addict without a fix, that's what she had been. After several more minutes he pulled away, brushing his nose across hers. She was just as breathless as he was. He held her for a few more minutes and they went back to cooking. Andy knew everything would be ok.

They had a great night. Sam went home after the game. "That part of us was never a problem Andy. I want you to see that I'm serious about this."

She couldn't argue with him. It made her happy that he was trying so hard already. They spent a great deal of time together over the two weeks leading up to Sarah's arrival. Things were going back to normal, a different and good normal. He talked to her all the time. He even talked about his parents a little. The visit with Sarah was amazing. She had the same Swarek dimples and dark eyes. Her family was pretty amazing too and the kids loved their Uncle Sammy. She had never really seen him around kids until then. He was completely at ease and great with them. Sarah and her family left around 9:30 after helping clean up from dinner. Sam had been a perfect gentleman these last two weeks. He wanted her so bad he couldn't stand it but it would have to be up to her.

Andy was wiping down the counter. "Sam, is it ok if I stay here tonight?"

He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "Sure." She leaned back into him. "Are you ok?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I just want to sleep here."

He kissed the top of her head. "Ok. Anything you want."

She stood there for a few minutes relishing being in his arms. The eight months without him were torcher. She had appreciated that he had been giving her the space she needed but her body, her soul couldn't take it anymore. She turned around and pressed her lips to his. He kissed her softly and she moaned. "I've missed you."

He kissed her harder this time, pressing himself against her. He kissed her neck and growled quietly, "Andy!" He picked her up as he kissed her again, their bodies melting together, becoming one. He had to come up for air. He didn't want to do this wrong. He cupped her face in his hands, searching her eyes. She nodded and that was all he needed. He picked her up and carried her to his room. They stood by the bed as he slowly undressed her. His breath ragged as he took in every inch of her amazing body.

He laid her down on the bed kissing and caressing every inch of her. It had been far too long but he was going to take his time, please her in every way he knew how. He was driving her insane. She had to practically fight him to get him undressed; he seemed so content on pleasing her. She managed to get his shirt off before he gently pinned her wrists to the bed.

After making her squirm and beg he finally let her help him out of his jeans and boxers. He slowly slid inside her as she begged him to. He pinned her right arm to the bed with his fingers twined in hers, sliding his left hand down to her thigh and pulling her leg up so he could slide in to her deeper. Andy gasped and arched into him, gripping the bed and clenching his hand. He kissed her deeply as he moved slowly in and out of her. The moment washed over them and he held her close covering her face in light kisses. He whispered. "Andy, I love you."

She pulled him closer and kissed him deeply. "I love you too."


	4. Chapter 4

_**One Year Later** _

Every month since she'd been back things got better and better with Sam. He did everything he said he would; took out her trash, talked to her, didn't run out first thing. They had date night once a week and spent a few nights a week at the Penny with their friends. She even managed to convince him to have dinner with Nick and Gail a couple of times. He took the detective's exam and passed of course, much to Luke's _dislike_ and Traci's _delight._

They spent a lot of time talking; she even went to a few therapy sessions with him. Jake was getting bigger by the day and had really helped with down time for them; quiet walks or runs in the morning or before bed. Almost year had passed since her return and now they were talking about moving in together. They had even been to look at a few places. One especially appealed to them; two story with a basement, it had the "natural light" Andy was looking for and it was close to the station. They had even set a time to sign the papers but it kept getting pushed back because of their busy schedules.

The D's had a pretty heavy load right now, dealing with a case of 3 murdered young boys. Although, Andy missed working the streets with Sam; him being a detective had helped their relationship a lot. They rarely worked together so they had things to talk about at the end of the day. Their new first anniversary was in a week and Andy wanted to do something fun and very different for Sam. It had been a long rough week but he'd promised himself he'd have everything caught up so that they could celebrate their anniversary. He was running about an hour late but hoped she wouldn't be too upset. He'd already picked up her present a few days before so on the way home he only needed to stop to pick up flowers.

They were supposed to meet at her house so she could cook them dinner. He slid his key in the lock and opened the door. The place was quiet and he thought _this isn't good_. "Andy? Sorry I'm a little late." She could hear him say quietly to himself. "Please don't be mad."

She could hear him walking towards the kitchen, her nerves humming. Sam could hear her IPod playing and then saw candles lit everywhere. "I'm sorry; I know I'm a little late. I got..." And then he saw her. "What the...?"

He slowly walked over to the butcher block where she was laying. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. Andy was naked (well almost) lying on her butcher block looking like a "sundae". She was "wearing" a whipped cream bikini with strategically placed cherries and strawberries. Her arms, legs, and stomach were lightly drizzled with chocolate and caramel syrups and slices of strawberries randomly placed around her stomach. _I love you_ was written in the middle of it.

He looked down at her smiling face. "Happy anniversary Sam!"

He couldn't help but smile and let out a shaky chuckle. "Wow! What...? How...?" He looked her up and down. "You look..."

She smiled and giggled. "Good enough to eat? I hope."

Sam let out a hearty laugh and growled. _"Absolutely."_ He carefully leaned over and kissed her soft lips, whispering. " _I never thought a sundae could be so sexy."_

Andy had been nervous about the whole thing, worried that he wouldn't like it but she could tell he was turned on. It was in the tone of his voice and the darkening of his eyes. She lied there waiting; waiting for him to enjoy his "present".

He stood staring at the gorgeous woman lying before him not even knowing where to start. He leaned in and licked the edge of the whipped cream around her right breast and she gasped as the tip of his tongue grazed her skin. A huge smile crossed Sam's lips. He moved from her breast to her stomach where he licked off some of the caramel and sucked up a slice of strawberry. He was already hard at the sight of her but her gasping and moaning his name made it worse.

He slowly moved down to her beautiful long legs, which he imagined wrapped around him _very_ soon. He lightly ran the tip of his tongue across the inside of her thigh and she bucked against him. _"Sam!"_

He traced the tip of his tongue across her hip dipping his tongue into the whipped cream covering her mound. She gasped and bucked again even though he never made contact with her skin.

She was going insane at the sensations Sam's tongue was sending through her body. He slowly made his way back up to her breasts, this time eating the cherry on her left breast before dipping his tongue down enough to graze her nipple. Andy squealed a little at the contact. He moved up to her lips and kissed her deeply, brushing his tongue across her bottom lip. She parted her lips and let him in; he explored her mouth gently with his tongue.

He slowly removed every inch of the whipped cream, syrups, and fruit then he helped her off the butcher block and walked her to the shower. He turned on the water to let it heat up while he stripped off his clothes. Andy watched, admiring every bit of skin that he revealed. She gasped at sight of his erection, twitching from his arousal. Once he removed all of his clothes he pulled her into the shower and moved back to wash the sticky away. He wet her hair and soaped it up, then moved to her body. He used his favorite body-wash; pear scented and she tasted good when she used it. He gently ran his hands across every inch of her body removing the remnants of the "sundae".

Andy closed her eyes and reveled in Sam's touch. It was almost as sensual as him "eating" his sundae. He pulled her back to his front; kissing and nibbling on her neck and ears. He whispered in her ear. " _I love you. You make me so happy Andy."_

She pressed herself back against him and he groaned. " _Make love to me Sam_."

He slid his hand down her stomach and slowly slid his hand between her legs, parting her. Andy gasped and pressed herself back against him and he bit down gently on her shoulder. She reached back and gripped his hips as he slid a finger inside her and moved his thumb slowly around her nerve bundle. She gripped him so hard her nails dug in. The movement of her hips caused her to rub her butt against his already throbbing erection. He groaned at the friction causing him to tease her more. Soon she was whimpering his name and clenching against his fingers. " _Sam!"_

He whispered in her ear. " _That's it sweetheart. Just let go."_ And she did. Andy went limp in his arms and he held her tight, turning her around so she could rest her head against his chest. He turned off the shower, grabbed towels; wrapping one around himself then drying her off with the other and then led her to the bed. Andy pulled him down with her and Sam hovered over, kissing her passionately.

She pulled him to her, wrapping her legs around him; urging him. Sam didn't hesitate and slid inside her as they kissed. They made love as they kissed and held each other, moaning each other's names and saying _I love you._ Afterwards they lay there bodies intertwined and happy. Sam was blown away by her. "You're pretty amazing you know."

She giggled. "I wasn't sure if you would like your present."

She felt the chuckled rumble through him. "I have to admit I wasn't expecting _anything_ much less anything like _that_. That was...that was pretty _wow."_

She nuzzled in closer to him. "I'm glad you liked it."

She felt him shake his head. "Loved it. _I_ _loved it."_ He was thinking about her present waiting downstairs. "Are you ready for dinner?" Andy nodded. "I say we order take-out and cook another night. How does that sound to you?"

She kissed his chest and nodded. "Sounds like a great plan to me."

Kissing her on the head. "Come on then. My phone is in the kitchen." He pulled her up out of bed with him and grabbed clothes for both of them; t-shirts and sweats then led her downstairs. He found his phone by the front door. "What are you in the mood for?"

She sat down on the sofa. "Hmm. I don't know. What are _you_ in the mood for?"

He chuckled as he sat down and pulled her into his lap. "I don't care babe. Pizza?"

She smiled and nodded. "Beer and pizza."

He called their favorite pizzeria and ordered their usual. "I'll be right back." She moved off his lap turned on the TV as he got up. He went to the front door where he left his duffle bag. He'd left her present in there and now retrieved it. She had found a hockey game and was watching intently when he came back.

Andy felt when Sam walked back into the room. "Everything ok?"

He sat down beside her, handing her a small wooden box and an envelope. "Happy Anniversary!" He kissed her softly. Andy's jaw dropped. She hadn't expected a gift from Sam. "You should open the box first."

Andy nodded and opened the box, pulling back tissue paper. The set of keys to Sam's truck that he had given her and then taken back were in there. The thing that really caught her eye was the "keychain". It was Sam's old badge. There was also an extra key. She looked at him confused as she held it up. "Sam?"

He took a deep breath. "If you open the envelope, you'll understand."

So she did and she found the closing papers to the house that they wanted with his signature on them. "Oh! My God! Seriously Sam?"

He nodded. "It's all ours. All they need is your signature."

She was practically jumping up and down on the sofa and then she just gave in and jumped in his lap. "This is so great!" She held up his badge that had been attached to a black leather strap hooked to a silver karabiner and shook her head. "Your badge?"

He shook his head. "My _old_ badge. I...I just..."

She kissed him hard. "I love _it_ and I love _you_." She remembered his words from almost two years ago. _I can't be a cop and be with you._ Maybe he couldn't be a _street cop_ and be with her but he could still be _a_ _cop_ and be with her. As a matter of fact they were better than they had ever been.

He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her in for a kiss. "I love you too. So, umm...are you ok with the house?"

Her smile lit up the room. "Are you kidding? I love it and Jake will too. He'll have a _huge_ backyard to play in."

Sam nodded. "He'll definitely love it. We can have cookouts and parties. When we have kids they'll have a great place to play." He watched Andy's face as he said _kids_. He held up his hands. "I don't want to scare you or anything."

She shook her head. "But you've thought about it?" He nodded. "You can see us having kids one day?" He nodded and caressed her cheek. She stared at him for a few beats before she said. "Wow. Ok."

He was a little nervous now because she didn't _look ok._ "Andy..."

She broke in before he could finish. "I can see it too Sam. I _want_ it too." She settled in his lap again. "We've come a long way. We're doing great right?"

He smiled. "I'd like to think so. I'm _glad_ that _you_ think so." He ran his fingers through her hair. "I know we've talked about moving in together but I don't want you to feel rushed. You trusting me and being ready is the most important."

She turned to face him; straddling his lap she cupped his face in her hands. "I _love_ you. I _trust_ you. I _want_ a _future with you_ and _I'm ready._ "

Sam let out a shaky laugh as he held her tight. "Then I'm _all yours_." Their kiss was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Andy groaned and Sam chuckled. "I think that's dinner."

She poked her lip out. "How long do you think they'd wait out there?" She gave him a devilish grin.

He shook his head and laughed. "Not _that_ long McNally."

She gave him another pouty look as she moved off his lap. "Fine."

He stole a kiss as he got up to answer the door. He came back a few minutes later with the pizza and two beers. They spent the rest of the night enjoying their time alone.

Two months later they were moving into the new place. Sam's house had sold pretty quickly and now Andy was in the final stages of selling hers. Sam suggested they have a house warming party. When they announced the party Traci was immediately nervous. She had been dating a guy name Erik Miller, a detective with Guns and Gangs. Sam knew him, having run into him a few times during his UC stints.

Traci waited until they were alone. "Sam?"

He looked up from his papers. "What's on your mind Nash?" He could tell she was nervous.

She sighed. "It's about the party." Sam nodded for her to go on. "Umm. Would it be ok if I brought someone?"

His look softened at her tone. "I'm guessing you don't mean Leo or your mom?" She shook her head. Sam gave her the most honest smile he could. "Do I know him?" She nodded. "Erik?" Another nod. He knew Jerry would want Traci to be happy and Erik was a good guy. "I think it's great Nash."

Traci let out a little laugh/sob as she nodded. "Thanks."

He nodded. "He was my best friend and I wish he was still here but he isn't. You deserve to be happy Traci; he would want you to be. If that's with Erick then I'm happy for you." She nodded as tears rolled down her cheek.

They kept Sam's bed for their spare room and bought a new bed for the master. They put his living room furniture in their basement for Sam's "man cave" and Andy surprised him with a poker table as a belated addition to his anniversary present. Frank and Oliver were more excited about _that_ than anything else.

Sam worked late the night before the party so that he can spend the day of helping Andy cook. They got into a food fight while making the cupcakes which end up in them having sex on the floor of the kitchen.

Sam chuckled as they tried to quickly clean up their mess. " _You_ are something else in the kitchen McNally. I think I should come up with things to celebrate a _ll_ of the time."

Andy elbowed him. "Let me guess, poker night will be your next excuse?"

He laughed as he took her in his arms and kissed her. "I like the way you think McNally."

They'd told everyone to be there by 7:00. All the food and drinks were out by the time the first people knocked on their door. Jake met the Shaw family with a loud bark and wagging tail. He pretty much greeted everyone that way. Soon their new home was filled with all of their friends. Everyone seemed to welcome Erik into the group once they saw that Sam knew him and that Leo really liked him.

The party went well and everyone loved their new house. Andy had the next day off and Sam promised to only spend a few hours at the station, then he would take her and Jake out for a drive around the city. Jake loved to ride in the bed with the back window open so he could crawl through whenever he felt like it. On their rides Sam would usually drive by one of the foster homes or a place he and Sarah had lived in growing up. He would tell her about the families, the good and bad things of being there.

She watched him as he talked about a particular Christmas that he had actually gotten the one thing he wanted, a new bike. She had known for a while that they were going to be ok. That they had been recovering very well from the hell they went through almost two years ago. But there was something about this moment, something that made her realize that they were great. That _she_ had _finally_ reached the point where she trusted him again, even more than before and in a different way. A better way.

 


End file.
